December 21, 2014

All-American Nightmare: The Right to Be Scared Shitless

If you were to take a snapshot of America’s collective consciousness, you’d see pestilence, apathy, wars and rumors of wars. A nation born in blood and ruled by fear. A bastion of culture and science, yet also a grim manifestation of humanity’s most primal elements. The self-preservation instinct, in particular, is an adhesive that keeps any social contract intact. Unfortunately, ...

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Terminally Ill: The Inevitable Death of Modern English

Of all the weapons known to man, language is the most powerful. A silver tongue can lead nations to war and undress someone else’s wife. From grunts and groans to grand poetic epics and holy books, it’s always served as a fundamental building block of civilization. When considering the many languages that have flourished, English remains the uncontested victor in ...

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All-American Oligarchy: The Complete Asshole’s Guide to Raping the Constitution

Welcome to America, where corporations are people and the homeless are considered road kill. Whether you’re an aspiring tyrant or simply a greedy douche, you’ll find this to be a land of ample opportunity. Still, in order to fully enjoy the fruits of exerting your will over the peasantry, it’s important for any self-respecting oligarch to understand the mechanisms behind ...

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A Question of Superiority: Does Uncle Sam Have the Biggest Dick?

As Putin pounds his chest and indulges in delusions of grandeur, the world finds itself in an all too familiar predicament. A major power acts according to its best interest, and the global community huffs and puffs, threatening everything but violence. However, despite all the hot air blowing from the West, deep down everyone knows it’s all a show. Pragmatism, ...

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